User Profile

my name is johnathon cassavetti

i like to pretend my room-mate is into sado-massochism. it makes him seem more interesting.

sometimes i pretend hes into sexual acts involving balloons.
but thats only when hes even more so dull than usual.

when i was a little boy my uncle Bob told me that gay people dont go to heaven.
he still remains an asshole.

when i was in high school, i dated a girl with long red hair who eventually dumped me because i had 'no motivation in life'
she was gorgeous and remided me of a water fairy.

i looked back at this my junior year of college via my high school yearbook.
i was deluding myself, she looks like she was into wicca and she was more lilith fair hippy and bad skinned theatre nerd than water fairy.
its funny how you can convince yourself of things if you lie to yourself enough.

earlier this year i was hospitalized for approaching perfection.
this has nothing to do with drugs.
just a whole lot to do with me being awesome.

i have this odd desire to kidnap little kids in grocery stores, just to return them safely to their parents 20 minutes later, so i can look like a superhero.